When Things are Going Badly

Sometimes life is just hard. David had some great strategies to follow when he was in difficult circumstances

Ps 37:1-7
Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong;
2 for like the grass they will soon wither,like green plants they will soon die away.
3 Trust in the Lord and do good;dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
4 Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the Lord;trust in him and he will do this:
6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;do not fret when men succeed in their ways,when they carry out their wicked schemes. NIV

Here are his ideas. Don't get wrapped up in worrying. Keep at faithfully doing good.

Take time to get to know God and learn to trust him.

What I love is the promise that he will bring forth your righteousness as the dawn. Through problems God is doing something. He is building your character. As you let him lead your life he will establish your character.

After developing your character he will give you an impact in others lives.

David finishes with encouraging us to be patient. God's ways are usually not quickly accomplished. He works thoroughtly though not quickly. Ultimately the righteous are blessed.

Motivated by Love

Bill Bright, the leader of Campus Crusade for Christ, used to tell this story.

A husband had a grading sheet for his wife. At the end of each day, depending on how good a wife she was, he would give her a grade. She hated this pressure.

Thankfully that husband died. She married a new husband. The new husband was amazing. He just loved her, not requiring anything in response. She was warmed by his consistant kindness, compassion, and loving care.

About 5 years later she was rumaging through the attic and came across one of the old grading lists of the first husband. Her first response was anger, just remembering the pain of that relationship. But then she laughed. As she looked at the list she was now doing all the things on the list for her new husband without being asked.

Our relationship with God is like being married to the second husband. God loves us. The great love he has given us causes us to just obey God naturally in response to his love. That obedience to God is not a burden.

In my walk with God I do not think about all the things I cannot do and all the things I have to do as a Christian. I am so greatful to be loved that obeying God is the most natural thing in the world.

Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea

We were hanging out as a family. We agreed how much more fulfilling life is when we are ministering to others. I know that when I am teaching others I grow.

While we were talking I was reminded of an illustration. "What is the difference between the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea?" The sea of Galilee is beautiful and clear. The Dead sea is putrid and ugly.

The Sea of Galilee has water flowing in and out. The Dead Sea only has water flowing in, with no outlet of the water. Many times our lives can be filled with input. We can become spiritually stagnant. But if we apply what we learn, and we pass what we learn on to others our spiritual lives tend to thrive. Ministering to others brings freshness and vitality to our walk with God.

Steve and Comfort, our son-in-law and daughter, teach a college age Sunday school class that has brought them a lot of joy. I love teaching and sharing with our foster children and have loved leading a Bible study at work.

The Smartest Man in the World

Read a great joke in Faith and Doubt by Ortberg: A plane was going down. On board were the smartest man in the world, a boy scout, and the pilot. There were only two parachutes. The smartest man in the world grabbed one and yelled as he dove out of the plane that he was doing this for the world--it needed him. The pilot told the boyscout that he had lived a full and satisfying life, and the he wanted to boyscout to be able to have the parachute since he had his whole life ahead of him. The boyscout said, "Relax, the smartest man in the world just jumped out of the plane with my backpack."

God's Refining Fire

Today I watched the amazing inaguration and the massive sense of good will in the country. I pray that we not just follow Obama as our president, but really follow God with a full heart. As seen in the verses below God is always refining us into his pure Gold.

Mal 3:1-3
3 "See, I will send my messenger, who will prepare the way before me. Then suddenly the Lord you are seeking will come to his temple; the messenger of the covenant, whom you desire, will come," says the Lord Almighty.
2 But who can endure the day of his coming? Who can stand when he appears? For he will be like a refiner's fire or a launderer's soap. NIV

When Gold is brought out of the mountain it is filled with impurities. The gold is put on a fire. The impurities rise to the surface. The impuities are skimmed off the top. How can you tell when the gold is pure? When the refiner sees his reflection in the gold.

The troubles we have right now as a country can be our refining fire. We can, under the leadership of our new president, let God's refining fire create in us a passion for doing what is right. I hope we can see Christ's attitude, beliefs, and actions reflected in all we do as individuals in this great nation. Then our nation can be truly great.

But if we reject God's truth even a great leader like President Obama can not save us.

Many Times a Much

Having our daughter Sara home has reminded me of how hard parting has been over the years. We left my mom and dad in 1979. They accepted that graciously. God later blessed them with years with their grandchildren that they never expected.

It was hard for us to see Sara go to Kazhakstan. The separation has made the reunion sweet. We are with a young lady who is united with us in purpose and we are having a great time together. We are able to share at such a deep and real level.

It was hard for us to leave DC. But another way I have felt blessed this week is to get started on facebook. I have loved being on contact with so many old friends that have resulted from years of life and ministry.

Matt 19:29 "And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or farms for My name's sake, will receive many times as much, and will inherit eternal life.NASU

When we choose to run after God with abandon, He has ways of surprising us and blessing our lives so deeply.

Never fear obeying him and loving him. It is worth the journey now, and is really worth it in eternity!

Joy vs. Happiness

There is a difference between happiness and joy. I heard a simple little thought that I liked. Happiness depends on "happenings", joy does not.

When things are going well it is fairly easy to be happy. When I get an A on a test, I have a new friend, someone gets married or has a baby, it is easy to be happy. But what sustains me when a friend dies, I get overlooked for a promotion, or I have bad news financially?

Joy is deeper and more foundational. God is fundamentally joyful. Galatians 5: 22,23 gives joy as one of the fruit of the Spirit. Joy is knowing that I am loved (by God). It is an underlying sense that everything will ultimately be worked out by God for my good. It is a deep and abiding belief in the goodness of God.

Joy remains even when I am not happy. Jesus wept. He felt deep emotion of pain for his friends. He was brutally killed. But at a deep level he felt the joy of the Father's love, had a sense of destiny, knew he was doing what was right.

We can claim His joy as our own if we have Jesus as our Savior. He lives inside of us.

There are days where I am not happy, but I sometimes have to ask God "Please give me your joy today." Even in my sadness I am given a foundation of God's joyful presence.

Today I am happy and joyful. Sofia is the first follower of my blog. That alone makes writing this blog worth the effort :-)

Delight in the Law of the Lord

I was reading ps. 1 a couple nights ago. When describing a righteous person it said that "his delight is in the law of the Lord and in his law he meditates day and night."

Moral choices for the agnostic or athiest are quite complicated. You have to look at what people are doing and saying. Decide if their decisions have merit and then come up with a good plan of your own on how to live.

For the believer in the scripture it is so much easier. God says it, I believe it, That settles it. My choices, though still complicated, are pretty straight forward.

Would God be delighted in my decision? If yes, do it, if no don't. Pretty simple huh?

I saw a quote once that impacted me so much I put it up in my office. John Brown said "Think at God thinks, act as God acts".

I am motived to obey God, partly just because it is the right thing to do. But more importantly if I trust God that his desires for me come from a loving heart. Why would I want to do anything other than his will. He knows me better than I know myself, understanding what will bring me the best life possible. Proverbs says that anything else is simply foolishness.

Affirming those we Love

The girls that we houseparent come to our home for a week at a time. We do that for 3 households to give the houseparents in those homes a break. This means we are with the girls a week each month.

At the end of our week together Bev and I each share something positive we have seen in each girl's lives that week. It may be kind act, or a character quality, or something enjoyable we learned about them.

When we first started doing this, the girls would look down, would be embarassed, and did not know how to take a compliment. It was fun to see them enjoy these words of encouragement and look forward to them.

I think this can be powerful in any home.

A simple concept, we learned (can't remember from where) when our girls were small was that each child is born with a cookie around their neck that says "I am important". Through their day when children cut them down, or laugh at them a little of the cookie crumbles off. When people affirm them, listen to them, care about them parts of the cookie are replaced.

That simple picture helped Bev and I to make positive affirmation an active part of raising our children.

Not Easily Broken

Tonight we went to the movie, "Not Easily Broken". It is a fabulous movie. The theme is to make God the third cord with the husband and wife in a marriage. It has a good story line, and a good message. It would not be for children, since there are some references to sex in the marriage context. It shows how a couple can make marriage and respect for one another a priority in life.

Our Frailty

God'sToday was trying. Mom is in the hospital from dehydration related to the flu. Dad does not have enough of his understanding together to be able to call her on the phone. His short term memory is really going quickly and his eyesight cannot see the numbers on the phone. I was calling each during the day to make sure they were all right.

In contrast to our weakness, our changeless God is a constant. We are the creatures, he is the creator. We are changing (mostly going down hill) he never changes. We are limited in knowledge, he is all knowing. We are dependent, he is independent.

I can either be depressed by this thought or exhilerated. What a powerful resource we have. We can at any moment of the day go to God for counsel, understanding, love, peace, and help. He is always there. He does not sleep or take a vacation.

I have Proverbs 3:5 engraved on the inside of my wedding ring. As a young guy, just getting married and having new responsibilities, it was a comfort to know that He would make my paths straight.

Prov 3:5-8
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heartand lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways acknowledge him,and he will make your paths straight.
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;fear the Lord and shun evil. 8 This will bring health to your bodyand nourishment to your bones. NIV

Parting is Temporary

We are foster parents for teenage girls. One of the girls that has been with us for a year is moving back with her parents this week. That is an exciting success, because the parents and the girl will function as a family again.

It is mixed with sorrow, however, because we have to back out of her life so the family can get reestablished. We will be able to talk with her after her 18th birthday a year and a half from now.

I was reminded of the beautiful way God touched my heart when our daughter Sara moved to Kazhakstan. The thought came to my mind, "What is 3 years compared to eternity?" That thought calmed me when Sara left, and it calmed me this week when we had to say goodbye to another child for a year and a half.

An eternal perspective really makes the relatively short separations here more tolerable.

I had a great aunt (Eula) who's husband died when they were in their early twenties. She died at age 90. After almost 70 years of separation they are together again. What is even 90 years in relation to eternity.

Balanced Life over a Lifetime

People speak of having a balanced life. I'm not even sure what that means.

A concept I once heard helped me. A balanced life is a balance over a lifetime. You will have times that are not balanced, and that is alright.

There are definitely times when I was not balanced. When our first daughter Sara was born, she consumed our time and energy. I remember Bev crying on the first Saturday we had her. Bev said Saturday is no longer a day off. I will not have a day off for years. As the eb and flow of life comes, we now realize that was an unbalanced time, but it was essential for our growth individually and as a family.

Another unbalanced time for us was Seminary. Bev took over much of the house function. I made the kids a priority in the afternoon when I got home from school. Bev and I only talked early in the morning. When those two years were over, it was time to redesign the way we functioned.

Bev let me know it was time to reenter the family and take on more of the responsibility.

My encouragement. Realize life is temproarily out of balance at different times. Don't let yourself live under a guilt cloud. Just make sure that the temporary does not become permanent.

We all must grow vocationally, socially, spiritually, and personally. We trust, by God's grace, that God gives us wisdom each day to do what is necessary.

Source of Love

Are you having trouble loving someone? You cannot work up love on our own. The source of love is God. If God lives in us we can claim his love, working through us, for the people in our lives. Because God is love, we can love.

1 John 4:7-12
7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. NIV

After claiming love for that person, from God. Do an act of love and kindness for them. It does not matter how they respond. It does not matter how you feel emotionally. You have loved them with God's love. That pleases God.

A Good Relationship Requires Time

When Bev and I got married we were in full time Christian Minsitry. This can drain you emotionally, physically, and relationally. We started right away to having our relationship be a priority in our life.

The first year of marriage we chose to live 15 minutes away from the college campus where we worked. The physical distance made our free time, more of our own. We worked what was required, but gave emphasis to the development of our marriage.

We chose not to have a TV the first year of marriage (due to my weakness of becoming the TV when I watched). We read the Chronicles of Narnia together. We played tennis. We just had a great first year.

After that we moved 5 minutes from campus. We loved having the students in our home. We had gotten our relationship strong so we could really enjoy the students.

At different times in marriage we were creative with finding the time to be together. During seminary in California we walked together in front of our townhouse at 5am. Yearly we tried to get away on a planning weekend to think through our life together, and just have some fun. The specifics have always changed but the principle is the same.

"Make time to be together in communication."

Love of God is the Foundation of Love for Others

I was reading Taste and See by John Piper. One statement he made on p.44 really struck me.
"The love of God is not God's making much of us, but God's saving us from self-centered sin so that we may enjoy making much of him forever. And our love to others is not our making much of them, but our helping them to find eternal satisfaction in making much of God."

I was reminded about a decision both Bev and I made before we met. We decided that we did not have to get married, but would be satisfied with the fact that we were loved by God and were able to love him.

That decision helped us both not to make an idol of each other when we met. Instead of worshiping each other, we are able to worship God together in an amazing journey he has taken us through.

At a practical level this involves being inclusive of others. Showing them hospitality. Instead of living selfish lives centered on each other, we can reach out to others and love them together.

God is our first love, and our love for each other flows out of that love. God inside of each of us is able to love far more effectively than our little human love can love each other.

My daughter Comfort likes an illustration using a pyramid. The husband is on the left and the wife on the right of a pyramid. God is at the top of the pyramid. The closer the husband and wife get to God(moving up their side of the pyramid toward God), the closer they are to each other.

Loving God helps us be unselfish in relationships, therefore enriching our love for one another.